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Trump Hosts Supervillain-like Gathering of NYC Realtors

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The Trump brood hosted a veritable who's who of New York City realty in their efforts to move their $45 million penthouse at Trump Park Avenue. The champagne-fueled fête brought in such names as Fredrik Eklund, Raphael De Niro, Dolly Lenz, Ryan Serhant, and Kathy Sloane, as Trump's brokerage specialist gave the realtors the lowdown.

The 6,278-square-foot duplex is a shining tribute to Trump's well-known good taste. It features a crystal chandelier and sconces, an oak staircase, two enormous terraces, the embedded souls of 666 orphans, a non-Euclidean geometric layout, and a sacrificial altar that the Donald might use to summon the Great Old Ones. It also can't be sold, going on and off the market for years and now asking $45 million (again).

Presumably, a cackling Ivanka Trump materialized in a puff of smoke and ordered the realtors to fight each other to the death for the privilege of listing the property. The Donald gleefully observed the spectacle while perched upon his throne of skulls.

There were no survivors.
· Trump entertains top brokers in $45M penthouse [TRD via REW]
· Previous Trump Park Avenue coverage [Curbed]