Words cannot do justice to this 6,126-square-foot, 5BR/5BA townhouse at 203 East 71st Street. And the decor isn't the only weird part—the house was originally listed for $7.995 million in April of 2009, taken off the market four months later, re-listed for the same price the following April, and taken off the market again five months after that. Then (three years later, if anyone is counting), it was listed for $7.5 million yesterday and, according to Streeteasy (and Nestseekers), is now in contract. We have no idea either. Does Million Dollar Listing broker Ryan Serhant just work that fast?
As for the house itself (built in 1983), we took note of its funky facade back in 2010, but had no idea that the interior would prove itself to be exponentially more funky. The highlight, as if there could be just one) might be the jacuzzi tub being watched over by a pirate bust (one of many interesting statues sprinkled throughout the four-story house). But there's also the marble-floored living room/"skylight room," and so much more. "Ideal renovation opportunity," the listing boasts.