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Million Dollar Listing New York S3E01: New Season, New Suit

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It's Season 3 of Million Dollar Listing New York, where three brokers, Fredrik Eklund, Luis Ortiz, and Ryan Serhant, show the world what it takes to sell high-priced New York City apartments. Check in each week for recaps by Angela Bunt. Episode air date: 4/2/2014.

Spring has sprung, and with it comes a new season of Million Dollar Listing New York. Eager to leave the drama of last year behind, our three favorite real estate agents are back and ready for a fresh start: Ryan vows to remain as emotionally closed-off as ever; Fredrik vows to work on his temper*; and Luis vows to be less charming and adorable (as if that were possible). Of course, there will be high kicks. Let's do this.
*And to spend more time spooning with his gorgeous husband.

We first catch up with Fredrik on his way to the Apthorp—a favorite property of his since he was just a boy. (Aw.) He meets with real estate developer Ari to tour a 4,200-square foot, first-floor unit inside the building. Known for his—ahem—fiery personality, Ari essentially berates Fredrik throughout the entire tour, yelling, "Pay attention!" When they sit down to discuss pricing, he's appalled that Fredrik would even suggest a figure below $10 million when average price in the building is $2,055 per square foot. Fredrik argues that this lower-floor apartment is worth less. Ari patronizes Fredrik one last time before agreeing on $9.5M.

It's a big day for Ryan, as he's headed to Young Woo's Sky Garage building in West Chelsea, to try to sell that ridiculous penthouse with the private elevator for your car. "Yuriy, we're going to the biggest listing appointment of my life! Are you excited?!?!?!" Ryan asks, as he grabs the back of his driver's seat and shakes it vigorously (while the dude is trying to drive). No, Ryan, Yuriy isn't excited about your listing appointment. He's working as your driver and you probably pay him in peanuts because you spent all your money on veneers back when you were first breaking into the real estate industry.

After experiencing the awesome car elevator, Ryan meets with Zach and Pasquale from Young Woo & Associates in the new space. While all the Sky Garage apartments are incredible, according to Ryan this one is the "crown jewel." (Quick, somebody make an animated GIF of him saying that.) Unfortunately, at this stage, the apartment is under construction. Like, completely.

Ryan pitches the associates on his idea to attract billionaires of the world to the apartment through a "Michael Bay-style movie trailer," and they take the bait... at a stiff $23M asking price. Mr. Woo won't settle for any less! Always the go-getter, Ryan only hesitates for a moment before excitedly clapping his hands and exclaiming, "Let's do it!"

Looking sharp as ever, Luis is en route to Central Park West to meet with seller Myra, who had bad luck with a previous broker. Despite having some quirks (like a wall of polyurethaned shelves), the 2,734-square-foot apartment has got amazing park views and UWS charm. Luis would love to sell it, and gets Myra and her family to agree on an ask of $6 million—on one condition: her son, Todd, is allowed to join him as a broker on the sale.

You mean to tell me that this guy is going to "help" Luis? Oh, the love of a mother...
With the construction deadline for the Young Woo property looming, Ryan begins to develop his Michael Bay-style PR commercial. He teams up with "these Australian guys who made this crazy video for this house in Australia," and if you're wondering what Australians are like, here's a good example:

Ryan describes a trailer that includes rope swings, Lamborghinis, supermodels, yachts, Germans and helicopters all swarming to see this exclusive property. Ryan, is that a commercial idea? Or a failed action film script from your college screenwriting class?

Elsewhere in the city, Luis invites his new mentee, Todd, over to get measured for a suit. Lesson numero uno in real estate is that presentation is key, although they might have to add a few inches to the butt pocket to accommodate for his massive wallet.

To loosen him up, Luis and his tailor do an impressive round of free-styling. Heck, even Todd takes a shot at it!


(This is probably fifth time I've watched this, and it's actually starting to grow on me.)

At the Apthorp, Fredrik is prepping for his open house. It's been a long week of being harassed by Ari, and he's ready for an offer on the apartment. He only has time to flirt with a few middle-aged married women before Ari arrives, breathing down his neck and totally killing the vibe. Luckily, he's able to sneak away with an interested real estate agent who says he'll call Fredrik to "discuss the price."

Meanwhile, back on the set of Mission Impossible 10: Sky Vault, Ryan is having a hell of a time selling the Young Woo property. Construction is way behind, and at $23M buyers aren't willing to take the chance on an apartment with a huge hole in the middle of it. Looks like the commercial will have to be put on hold. Great, more time for Ryan to tweak the script!

Sure, it's like heaven. If your heaven is filled with overpriced real estate, scaffolding, and a broker who resembles a clean-cut Jim Carrey during his short hair phase:

Looking dapper in his new suit, newbie broker Todd is given his next real estate lesson: Cold Calling. Luis effortlessly flies through the calls, charming the folks on the other line, while Todd chokes on his awkwardness. S'all good, just more material for the next freestyle. Wait, can we hear that again?

Determined to get the seller off his back, Fredrik makes his way to the LES to meet with Michael, a broker interested in the Apthorp unit. The initial offer comes in at $8M, and Fredrik tries to mentally prepare himself for his phone call with Ari. (Remember, no more 'tude in 2014!) Broker Michael comes off as a sweet guy who is reluctantly playing hardball with Fredrik. The two wrestle with their offers, finally settling on $8.8M.

Cheers to a successful season 3 premiere! Leave your thoughts in the comments below, and stay tuned for more recaps every week.
· Official site: Million Dollar Listing [Bravo]
· All Million Dollar Listing New York recaps [Curbed]

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