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Million Dollar Listing New York S3E09: A Bunch of Babies

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It's Season 3 of Million Dollar Listing New York, where three brokers, Fredrik Eklund, Luis Ortiz, and Ryan Serhant, show the world what it takes to sell high-priced New York City apartments. Check in each week for recaps by Angela Bunt. Episode air date: 5/28/2014.

Luis is still in Puerto Rico (is he ever coming back?) with Mr. and Mrs. Jones, trying to close a deal on a vacation home for the couple. While he's not making commission on the deal, it's important to him to win the business so he could have them as potential clients in NYC. So, when Mrs. J starts pushing Mr. J for the $4M home whilst on the dance flo' and they begin arguing outside, Luis is worried. He isn't used to confrontation when it doesn't involve him! They settle on the $2.5 million townhouse and quickly get back to partying. At least they have their priorities straight.

Meanwhile, back in Fredrikland, this Swedish meatball is on his way to Park Slope (where he and Derek will inevitably move to once they have a child) to meet with Jeanne, a real estate investor who's putting her recently flipped townhouse from the 1800's on the market.

The 3,400-square-feet townhouse boasts four floors, four fireplaces, original tile, hand-crafted woodwork, 6 bedrooms, and 2.5 bathrooms (hm, that might be a problem). Fredrik thinks they will be able to price it between $4.1-$4.3M—a record for the neighborhood. Having already invested around $3M in the flip, Jeanne is feeling a bit greedy and wants something closer to $4.5M. They agree to list at $4.45M, with the knowledge that it may sell for a biiit lower than that.

Ryan Serhant makes his debut this week when he meets with Zack, Young Woo's attitude-y representative, to discuss progress on the SKY VAAAAULLLTT. Their meeting spot of choice? A rainy dock—you know, where most important business meetings take place. Turns out the glass mechanics have finally been installed in the "one-of-a-kind" apartment, so Zack immediately pushes Ryan to film his commercial. Operation Sky Vault is a go!

It's been a few weeks since Derek's art exhibit, the one where Fredrik overheard him say that they're putting their plans for a child on the back-burner. The two discuss what happened over a bottle of wine, and Derek reveals that he's worried with Freddy's busy schedule he'll end up becoming a housewife. Real estate is in Freddy's blood, and Derek wants to establish himself as an artist in NYC before dropping it all to start a family. Plus, he doesn't want to be completely financially dependent on Fredrik.

Ryan goes to check out his beloved Sky Vault. Sure, the glass floor (I wouldn't trust that) is complete, but that's the only thing finished about the apartment. Everything else is still a construction zone. But look at all these buttons on the wall!

Zzzzz...zzz... Oh, sorry, I fell asleep waiting for that thing to open. What is the purpose of a moving glass floor anyway? And like, what would you even put in the vault? I don't get it. Is this apartment designed for Doomsday Preppers?

Because the Sky Vault took so long to complete, Ryan had to find a new set of directors rather than those Aussie guys. He's also had to scale back his initial big-budget Hollywood idea, and the commercial will now just focus on a power couple lavishing each other with gifts, ultimately leading to the gift of the Sky Vault. Could this be a subtle hint to Emilia for a future birthday present?

Fredrik and his trusty assistant Jordan have the open house in Park Slope on their mind, and what better way to get the creative juices flowing than a little baby clothes shopping. Even if recent baby plans have just been scrapped, Freddy is still inspired by the clothing and decides that their open house can be one part tour, one part art project. Derek can sit and color with children while Freddy shows off the digs to their parents. Not only will it showcase what a great family home the townhouse is, but it'll also show Derek that they're ready to be parents! Nope, this plan doesn't seem like it has the potential to backfire at all...

Back in Puerto Rico, Luis is meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Jones to put in their initial offer for the $2.5M vacation home. They come in at $2.4M, just $100K under asking. Unfortunately, not only will the St. Regis brokers not lower the price, but they're actually in the process of raising all of the oceanfront properties. Stalwart in their asking price, Luis has to go back and bargain with Mr. and Mrs. J.

Apparently all it takes to close a $2.5M deal these days is a free electric golf cart and an unlimited club membership. Oh, yeah, and an expendable income. Time for Luis to let his hair down and party with his family—this deal is done.

Derek's like, "Uh, why are you crying?"

The open house in Park Slope is going swimmingly, with Fredrik showing moms and dads around the massive house while Derek sits with the children coloring and drawing pictures. The way he interacts with them is swoon-worthy—or maybe it's just his accent—but the deeper meaning behind it all may have been lost on him.

Fredrik vows not to push the baby issue on Derek anymore, and wonders to the camera why he's so emotional lately...

Operation Sky Vault has started production, and Ryan is getting the taste of what it's like being a producer first hand—mostly that it costs a ton of money and takes a ton of time. There's a lot on the line for Ryan here: his money, his reputation, his potential clientele. The entire production ended up costing him a cool $51,000 directly out-of-pocket. But as the night rolls on, and filming goes well past 3 a.m., he knows the risk is worth it to see his baby come to life. And for the exec producer IMDB credit, 'natch.

Luis and Fredrik have had a long and sordid past. While they certainly get along better now than they did last season, even Freddy's most recent attempts to befriend Luis have come off as phony and condescending. He views Luis as a young broker that lacks experience and needs his mentorship, and claims he just wants to be a resource to him. It all sounds a little too familiar to Luis, but despite his reservations he tells Fredrik that he'd love to be taken under his wing to learn a bit more about the aspects of new real estate developments, a la Zach Vella.

Ryan's sweatier than the first time he took E during orientation his freshman year at BU.

Ryan's big night is here: it's finally time to premiere his commercial in front of colleagues, friends, and his lovely and faithful girlfriend Emilia. Ryan says it's like his "real estate wedding day," cause Lord knows he'll never be man enough to commit to an actual wedding. (Pssst, Emilia, run screaming!)

For folks who haven't seen this yet, here's the commercial in all its glory:

"The SkyVault: There's Nothing Better?" Clearly Don Draper wasn't put on this marketing campaign. The crowd goes wild, but will it be enough to sell the apartment?

Luis has pep in his step as he enters the Park Slope townhouse to meet with Fredrik and Jeanne, the "real estate developer" that is going to let Luis in on some upcoming developments in the city. Their conversation goes for a whopping 30 seconds when Fredrik starts needling Luis, and it's hard not to wonder if he's doing it on purpose. When Jeanne tells Luis that Fredrik called him an "up and comer" with the potential to be a "mini-Fredrik," it's confirmed. As if that's not infuriating enough, Luis quickly determines that Jeanne isn't even a real estate developer, she just flips townhouses. Been there, done that. Fuming, Luis dismisses himself from the meeting as politely as he can. That's when all hell breaks loose:

... Uhhh, I'm gonna gooo... ...
· Official site: Million Dollar Listing [Bravo]
· All Million Dollar Listing New York coverage [Curbed]