It's Season 3 of Million Dollar Listing New York, where three brokers, Fredrik Eklund, Luis Ortiz, and Ryan Serhant, show the world what it takes to sell high-priced New York City apartments. Check in each week for recaps by Angela Bunt. Episode air date: 6/11/2014.
Flowers are blooming, pools are opening, and pollen is permeating
my nostrils the airwhile we're saying hello to the new summer season, we must also say goodbye to another kind of season. No, not spring (totally overrated). Season three of Million Dollar Listing, silly! Feels like only yesterday Fredrik was going green in Tribeca, Ryan was throwing a rave at his open house, and Luis was making Todd a new suit. Now, months later, everything is turned upside down. Will Luis and Fredrik be able to reconcile before the finale comes to a close? At the top of the episode, Fredrik leaves Luis a voicemail hoping to do just that.
Luis gets about 15 seconds into Freddy's voicemail, during which he says he wants to meet and "talk about what happened the other day in Brooklyn," for him to lose his temper and smash his potted plant to smithereens. Sooo, about that reconciliation...
Ryan is headed to The Oriona high-rise condominium on the edge of Times Square and Hell's Kitchento see his friend Andrew, a "world famous ballroom dancer," which feels like an oxymoron. He's looking to put his 1,075-square-foot apartment on the market, and after a bit of tangoing (see what I did there?) they agree on a listing price of $1.725 million. With one condition: Andrew must teach Ryan his moves so he can take Emilia out dancing.
Freddy and Derek are off on a trip to the Hamptons—or what Freddy calls "a playground for the wealthy"to check out a development project he has been involved with. Led by developer Jane, Barn & Vine will be 37 homes, ranging around 7,000-square-feet each. Freddy is the primary broker on the project, but will work with a broker named Terry who can show the units while he's in Manhattan.
Luis is on his way to visit the penthouse at 75 Wall when he gets a call from the foxy and feisty Janet, CAO of Milstein Properties. She tells him that the deal between she and Ryan's client has closed, and that "you've really earned a lot of points in my book."
YES!!! HE'S BACK, BABY. Redemption, bitches. Just one quick detail: they've done a repricing on all of the units in the building, so he'll actually have to sell unit 25EFGH for $8.4 million rather than the original price of $7.8 million. So, if he couldn't hit the $7.8M mark last time, how the hell is he going to get it to $8.4M? Is Luis being set up for failure, or poised for glory?
Ryan meets up with Andrew at the dance studio to begin lessons. He says he works so much that he wants to be able to do something nice for his girlfriendoh, Serhant! I think I'm falling in love with you! He tells Andrew that he hasn't danced since the 7th grade, and that was only to make out with a girl: "I didn't woo her with my dance moves though," "So what exactly did you woo her with?" "My penis... just kidding, that was 8th grade." OK, I take it back.
Ryan wearing his stage manager outfit from when he worked on his high school's production of Hair.
Emilia will either fall deeply in love with Ryan after this, or run screaming from her bananas boyfriend.
In order to create buzz around the Barn & Vine developments, Fredrik is throwing an epic party at the Gansevoort. (Yea, I don't get the connection either but whatever, any excuse to expense your 3 a.m. cab fare to Douglas Elliman.) It's a packed party, filled with rich NYC-ers eager to purchase property in the Hamptons in an effort to fill the void in their heart. Freddy is doing his Freddy thing, so flitting around the party chatting with potential clients and injecting his unique (see: Swedish) brand of humor where he can. It's all going swimmingly except that one loud, shrill voice in the background...
Sorry Terry, this is Freddy's party now. Shouldn't you be catching a Hampton Jitney or something?
Luis and his team have completed staging on the unique penthouse at 75 Wall. Because of the non-traditional layout, they've gone with a non-traditional design: deep and rich colors and a more masculine but sexy style. As Luis says, "this apartment smells like sex." Like, good sex. With a hot girl. Not the regrettable kind. Now all they have left to do is sell the damn thing.
Because most native New Yorkers would rather die before living in an apartment located in the heart of Times Square, Ryan has concocted a genius idea for selling Andrew's Orion digs: bring in foreign investors. Specifically Beijing, Hong Kong and Shanghai. He and his team of bilingual salespeople are going to "attack the market" at the stroke of 11 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, 11 a.m. China time. Phones begin ringing off the hook, and in a matter of minutes there are two offers: one, an all-cash, full-ask offer. The other, an over-ask offer at $1.8 million. Gotta' hand it to you, Serhant. You dun gooood. Now get back to the dance studio.
Back in Fredrikville, he's making headway on his Hampton homes, but the perfect offer hasn't quite presented itself. Tenacious Terry keeps presenting him with weird requests from each buyer: an orange roof, an added-on pool house, the ability to keep horses on the property. But there's something Terry doesn't know yet about Fredrik: "Fredrik Eklund doesn't make concessions," says Fredrik Eklund, also known for talking about himself in the third person.
And now, the best Ryan Serhant montage in the history of Million Dollar Listing:
In between his pirouettes and pivots, Ryan and his colleague pull in an offer for the condominium at $1.89 million—nearly ten percent higher than asking price. Put your dancing shoes on, buddy. It's time to celebrate!
A few weeks have passed since Fredrik's Barn & Vine development entered the market, and he meets with developer Janet to discuss progress. He's managed to nip all the odd requests in the bud, and has brought with him over $20 million in offers. That's five units out of 37 already sold—Fredrik may be secretly evil, but he's a damn good broker.
The big day has finally come, and Ryan is ready to surprise Emilia with his newfound dance skills. He's pulled out all the stops: hired a band, "shut down Central Park" (OK, he just hired a few dancers to come make the scene look real), and has the choreographed number all ready. He is so committed to making this a special day for Emilia he's even left his phone at the office. You know what, I'll just let you watch it for yourself.
*Wipes tears from eyes* Uhhh... sorry guys. Just a little emotional. But seriously, that was the sweetest thing I've ever seen. The character arch of Ryan Serhant on Season 3 of Million Dollar Listing rivals that of Walter White on Breaking Bad. First stop, ballroom dancing, next stop babies.
It's Luis's big night at the open house for the 75 Wall penthouse. Nothing can go wrong—even his new buddy Ryan shows up for moral support (aw, love these two together). Everything is coming up roses, until Fredrik shows up. He says he's not there to look at the units, but instead to try and "get a hug, get a high five, laugh at what happened" with Luis. But Luis has had enough of Fredrik's manipulations: "It doesn't feel to me that you genuinely want to help. And it's disgustingI've had enough of this thing." This thing = Fredrik's deeply conniving personality and ravenous insecurity.
Freddy's crocodile tears might work on Derek, but they certainly won't work on Luis. As Freddy storms down the street raging, Luis gets off one last jab: "you weak piece of shit." Don't these two share the same office space? That's gonna be super awkward on Monday.
Remember when I said rich people bought houses in the Hamptons in order to fill a void in their heart? When we next see Fredrik after the epic blowout at 75 Wall, he's pitching to Derek the idea of buying their own summer home in the Hamptons. If they can't have a baby, they may as well have more real estate, amiright? Derek's like, "Yeah, sure, I'd love a place in the Hamptons. You're buying, right?"
If Million Dollar Listing gave out superlatives, Ryan would win "Most Improved Personality." When the season began he was cold and calculating, ready to take down anybody that stood in the way of his success. But after burning bridges in the industry and almost losing his girlfriend, The Grinch's heart grew three sizes, capped off by his beautiful ballroom dance in Central Park. It seems Ryan is a changed man, and maybe we have Emilia to thank for that. And his new bromance with Luis.
Starting the season off as an underdog, Luis has finally been able to harness his high energy into bigger deals and innovative sales ideas. In his final moment of Season 3 glory, he meets with Janet to deliver news on the 25EFGH property at 30 Lincoln. Luis, once scorned by the real estate mogul for being unable to deliver on a deal, now has an all-cash, $8.5 million offer. They're both so happy their eyes well up with tears—yes, more money!! Just what they needed!!
And with that, season three of Million Dollar Listing New York has come to its dramatic, yet poignant, conclusion. We made it guys! Do it with me now: 1...2...3... HIGH KICK!
· Official site: Million Dollar Listing [Bravo]
· All Million Dollar Listing New York coverage [Curbed]