It's Season 3 of Million Dollar Listing New York, where three brokers, Fredrik Eklund, Luis Ortiz, and Ryan Serhant, show the world what it takes to sell high-priced New York City apartments. Check in each week for recaps by Angela Bunt. Episode air date: 6/4/2014.
This action-packed episode begins with Fredrik, who is trying his damnedest to convince his fellow brokers that Park Slope is the new Upper West Side. He needs to sell that darn townhouse, and the only way to get Manhattan buyers into Brooklyn is to emphasize the cost-effectiveness: you can get double the square-footage for half the cost. Is Fredrik a little behind on this whole Park Slope thing? I thought everybody had already migrated there, priced it out, and moved on?
Emilia and Ryan have rekindled their flame, and while Ryan still can't be pried away from work on the weekends, he's been doing the work from home so he and Emilia can spend more time together. "More time together" means Emilia sits bored on the couch, jealously scrolling through her Instagram feed filled with pictures of her girlfriends out at brunch, while Ryan works. Emilia is all, "I want to marry the asshole that I've come to know and love. Not some pudgy Bostonian frat boy!"
I will admit, though, that I'm quite enjoying this new leaf that Ryan appears to be turning over. He even lets Emilia in on his current real estate woes: he has the perfect buyer perfect for 30 Lincoln Plaza, but his only contact there? Luis. Lesson number one on how to not be a ruthless human being: Don't shove pocket squares down people's throats.
Were they all riding magic carpets to Brooklyn that day?
If I had a dollar for every time Fredrik had an open house in one of these episodes... This time he's trying to do what everybody does when they move from Manhattan to a borough: convince themselves that it's as good as Manhattan. I mean, Park Slope is basically the same thing as the UWS, just better. Basically.
We catch up with Luis at RightFit where he's doing an intense full body workout to help blow off some of his anger from his spat with Fredrik last week. How come every time Luis needs to "blow of steam" it involves some sort of physical fitness? Ever hear of drugs and alcohol, dude? Like any avid gym-goer, he interrupts his workout to answer his cell phone.
Ryan has been blowin' him up for days, trying to tell him about the potential client he has for 30 Lincoln Plaza, little knowing that Luis actually got fired from the property. "Thirty Lincoln Plaza? I told you to never speak of that place again!!!!" - Luis (OK, he didn't say that exactly, but he was most likely thinking it.)
Luis agrees to meet Ryan for five minutes, pending he won't "waste his f*cking time." Their meeting spot of choice? Salvation Tacohow fitting. Even though technically Ryan doesn't need Luis to make the deal, he still wants to mend the broken relationship, plus it will help Luis repair his relationship with the ball-busting Janet. All it takes is Ryan making a few digs at the newly vilified Fredrik to make Luis trust him, begging him to not "f*ck with him" as he shakes his hand and agrees to work together.
Fredrik is at his office with Jordan prying him for details about his wedding night. (Hint: She fell asleep.) While Jordan is trying to convince Fredrik that "it's pretty common!" (is it?) the phone ringsan offer on the Park Slope pad for $4.1 million! Setting records aaall day, baby. High kicks for everyone!
Luis is all nerves as he goes to visit Janet, the CAO of Milstein Properties at 30 Lincoln Plaza. The last time he saw her she was giving him the can, and the last time she saw Ryan he was getting kicked out of her party, so when he pitches to her that Ryan has a potential client, he's anxious for the reaction.
Although he wasn't able to follow through in the past, luckily Janet still trusts Luis enough to show the apartment to Ryan. But one thing is clear: Luis will make no money on this deal, unless Ryan decides to personally split the commission with him, which is about as likely as Derek agreeing to have a baby with Fredrik. Aww, too soon?
For the first time in his career Luis gets to witness Ryan acting like a professional, as the two are showing the pocket listing at 30 Lincoln to the lawyer representing Ryan's client.
It's hard to tell if Ryan is putting on a show or not, because he's acting so kind it's almost obnoxious. What happened to the lovable jerk that made this program entertaining?
Luis goes from uptown to downtown to visit his real estate roots in FiDi. He's been called to 75 Wall Street to meet with Senior Marketing Director Michael Altneu. The massive building is half 5-star hotel, half luxury residences, and one of "the most luxurious buildings in all of downtown," according to Luis.
Michael reveals to Luis that he's invited him there because the building's developer wants Luis to sell the penthouse. He "loves his energy"finally, somebody appreciates Luis's energy. At a price of $2.82 million it'll be tough, but Luis can do it. I mean, he basically IS FiDi. With a few staging tricks they'll get 'er done.
Ryan's client has made an offer of $5.75 million, and he and Janet meet to begin the bidding war. The last time they saw each other, he was.. well, you know. She walks him through the listing, stopping in front of the massive window overlooking Central Park to tell him that his price just isn't high enough. Man, Janet is looking good these days. But good enough to resist the flirtation of The Charminator? Only time will tell...
It's Freddy and Derek's one-year anniversary. Since Derek revealed his hesitations about having a child, things have been a bit tense. But when Derek comes home with a special anniversary surprise for Freddy, he's sure that Derek has finally changed his tune about having a kid. He knew his Park Slop plan would do the trick!
Surprise! It's another dog! Derek even named him Milo, as the male version of Mila. Fredrik wells up with tears, but not tears of joy. Tears of sadness. C'mon, if you squint enough it's like a child, no? The whole thing is a bit dramatic, as Fredrik storms away... to the kitchen. Three feet away.
Enough of these star-crossed lovers, let's get back to the epic cat and mouse game between Ryan and Janet. These two are flirting so hard one of them is about to pop a veneer off. As they bargain, Ryan sits closer to Janet and puts his hand on her back: "Oh stop it, I'm old enough to be your mother!" Classic line from an older babe getting flustered by a younger dude. Apparently the tactics worked, because Janet comes all the way down from $6.5 million to $6.1 million and the deal is done. The Charminator wins again!
If there's one thing we know about Luis, it's that he's all about team work. So to help with the staging and rebranding of the penthouse at 75 Wall, he's assembled a dream team of marketeers and interior designers. The vision will be hard and dark, but also soft and light. Sexy and sleek, but also sophisticated and polished. So, basically everything.
Fredrik's like, "I don't need any validation, but you think I'm great—right?"
Fredrik meets with Jeanne to excitedly tell her about his $4.1 million offer on the Park Slope townhouse. But Jeanne isn't excited, she's enraged. (She was so much nicer last week!) While a glass of wine may not calm her down, Fredrik's negotiation skills might. If only he can convince his client to move up from $4.1 million and talk Jeanne down from her bloated $4.45 million figure.
To celebrate Ryan's sale at 30 Lincoln Plaza, Ryan invites Luis out for drinks. They pound endless shots of tequila, and Ryan even hands Luis a commission check for $20,000. Pshaa, pocket change. Just kidding, that could totally pay off the rest of my student loans (no, seriously). Ryan continues to open up to Luis, telling him he wants to have close relationships with the few people in the industry he can trust. (Ryan, you work as a real estate agent, not as a member of the Cryps.) The biggest thing Ryan and Luis have in common is their mutual hatred of Fredrik, and their friendship flourishes with every dig they take at the seemingly untrustworthy Swede. It's kind of like Seinfeld when George and Elaine bond by talking about Jerry behind his back. Speaking of Fredrik...
Fredrik's buyer has gotten back to him with a counter offer on Jeanne's Brooklyn townhouse. But first the two must do their good luck dance before he can answer the phone and get the news.
The wiggle worked: the buyer will take it for $4.25 million. Good enough for Jeanne, who finally drops the tough guy act and gives Fredrik a hug.
Meanwhile, Ryan and Luis are still taking shots. Ryan coyly teases Luis that they haven't drank enough yet because they "still have their clothes on." Well this first date is going swimmingly! Luis wants to let Ryan in, but he's been burned so many times before... is he ready to make this commitment?
Young love in bloom.
Can we really trust Ryan, or is he just setting Luis up for another betrayal? Furthermore, with his ever-growing ego and manipulations, is Fredrik becoming the new Ryan? Also, will Jordan ever consummate his marriage? So many questions... only two episodes left.
· Official site: Million Dollar Listing [Bravo]
· All Million Dollar Listing New York coverage [Curbed]