'Tastefully Decadent' Upper East Side Townhouse Asks $13.5M

The seven-level townhouse at 162 East 71st Street has been trying to find a buyer for more than a year. It's a perfectly lovely home, having been "immaculately renovated" to its "tastefully decadent" state, and even though the $13.5 million price tag is high (but still lower than the original $14.8 million ask), it's not completely outrageous for the Upper East Side. It has an elevator (oak-paneled, no less), three outdoor spaces, five fireplaces, and nearly 6,000 square feet of space. So why can't it sell? The fact that the house was totally and completely empty may have been the problem, as it's now back on the market, fully furnished. The staged house paints a delightful picture for unimaginative prospective buyers—one of the kids' rooms even has a teepee. A teepee!—so perhaps someone will take a look at that blue suede bathroom couch, and just know this is it.

· Listing: 162 East 71st Street [Elliman via StreetEasy]